Friday, April 2, 2010

Home Again

Arrived home at 7 p.m. It was a long drive with frequent stops. Had lots of leg cramps and no sleep the previous night.

Tears me up to leave my elderly friend in the conditions she lives in. Imagine for a moment an elderly woman who's lost her sight, has a broken pelvis and is about a size 3, living alone with her dog that pees and poops on the floor. Imagine further that she receives frequent phone calls from people who profess to care about her but do very little for her. Her daughter and son-in-law (my ex) did drop off their garbage. Too much trouble for a GM retiree to pay for garbage pick up. The ex did took the dog outside while the daughter complained that the house stunk.

Her 80-year-old sister called screaming at her that she can no longer stay alone & ordered her to have me drop her off at her house. The sister and her husband are both dying of cancer, use wheelchairs and have an obese alcoholic son next door who sometimes helps them. So the situation is similar to hers.

I took her for two rides; the first time she's left the house in 8 weeks. I cleaned her stove top for an hour and a half and removed the burner handles so she has to rely on the microwave. I vacuumed, dusted, washed bedding and cleaned the frig. We read the instructions on TV dinners and glued pieces of foam to the microwave buttons that she needs to use - our version of braille.

I washed her hair, gave her a back rub and trimmed her finger and toe nails. The ex's former girlfriend is helpful but has issues - which my friend hears about daily. She was concerned I would take her place, wants the furniture arranged differently because "it would look better," and is a woman who has no friends. When we went for a ride she suggested we stop by. We didn't and that pissed her off. The next morning she called told my friend, "You are coming by today, aren't you?" My friend said she's wanted to show off her home. So we relented. Well...

I don't collect unicorns and Jimmy Johnson Nascar junk so I wasn't impressed. The small three bedroom ranch is cluttered with collections that overflow tables, china cabinets, buffets and bookshelves. I was claustrophobic and sat at her dining table thinking of all the money she'd wasted. According to my friend, her life is all about the price tag. Sure enough as we toured the house I heard, "I paid...for that. And that I got on sale for ..." She had just spent $1700 on a flat screen TV and ordered more unicorns. And of course, she complains about not having enough money.

Oh well.

My sister-in=law just texted to my computer. My brother and one sister are meeting Dad for breakfast. He's bringing his med minder in case he gets to stay with his son a few days. Sister-in-law says it's a pow-wow where Dad's being told he has to return home.

He and Sweetie picked his car up Tuesday & he drove himself to his doc appointments, then came home exhausted. He's trying hard to condition himself to prove he can be trusted to drive and be on his own. Then my other ex who lives here - the nurse who was fired for nearly killing a patient, the one I was married to when I cracked up - called to tell Dad he'll check on him daily at home, set up his meds and be sure he has "something to do every day" - a sly reference to us "not getting out much."

Oh well, again.

As far as we're concerned, we've done the best we can with Dad. He made the decision to stay the winter here. He was warm, safe, loved, fed, and the center of our attention. None of the family, except relatives downstate and my sister-in-law, are grateful he was here. The others focus on how terrible it must be to live in the sticks with two crazy people who prep.

Have to remember, opinions are like you know what and let it go.

Was nice to sleep in my own bed. Today I'll do laundry answer a stack of emails. Then we'll unload the car, organize preps and collapse for awhile.

Have a great day, Treesong


LizBeth said...

Might as well keep your sanity. Nobody else is. Blessings! ~Liz

vlad said...

I would be pleased to live in the sticks next door to you two crazy people who prep. I would respect your privacy, and the property lines; and stand ready to help as needed.