Further Ponderings

Thanks all for your comments regarding my last post.

I agree that if we leave the neighbors win. Sweetie says so what? I say, we bought this place; we've put work into it; and we were led here by circumstances that were nothing short of a miracle. So it seems to me we're supposed to be here. Maybe not full time. Maybe someday we'll escape to Florida in the winter - like thousands of others do.

But I wonder... with the world going to Hell should we consider living even part time in a populated area where crime is common? Personally, I can think of lots of negatives.

It's the health issues that motivate Sweetie. I also think that with many losses between the two of us, it's a natural to try and recapture some of the past.

But life changes no matter where you are. You age; you get ill; you lose friends and family; the neighborhood changes; the weather changes; the economy changes; your dreams and goals change.

Without change you may as well lock yourself in a cell and die. Everything evolves. And who knows, maybe the neighbor's circumstances will change. Hell, maybe he'll drop dead! Maybe he'll listen to the township supervisor and move his crap. I don't know.

Maybe I'll drop dead. So why not savor the day as best I can? Somehow, I have to remind myself of that. After all the adversity and disappointment and discouragement, you'd think I'd get that through my head.

When adversity strikes I can't stop thinking about it. And then, before long, I've been robbed of my joy and everything seems bleak.

I want to LIVE here, not exist here.

Yesterday I raked red pine needles and picked up more garbage near our north line. It felt good to be outside doing something. Though the thermometer said 40 it felt perfect.

Today, we met my youngest son at a small town for breakfast with his children, his ex and her boyfriend. It felt good to just do something besides sit here and be pissed.

And finally, NOTHING regarding Sweetie's desire to move will happen anytime soon. For starters, we can't just pick up and go. For once, having little money is an advantage! We have a house payment. We have a two bills yet to pay off. We have my Dad to consider. We have a medical appointments.

We were in the same boat when we dreamed of selling in Lower Michigan and moving here. It took over two years and happened unexpectedly when we thought we couldn't afford it.

Until serendipity or the lottery or a rich uncle comes along, we're here. And that's fine by me.

Maybe, in the grand scheme of things, this is just a test.

So thanks again for your comments and have a great day, Treesong