Monday, September 7, 2009

Reflecting

Today, we have lived here for 90 days. It's been an adventure for sure and we're still grateful that we were able to make the move. That being said, we've also had to realize that some of the expectations/dreams we had for this place will not be realized.

The greatest challenge we've had is building relationships with our neighbors. Granted, it's only been 90 days but we both feel that we'll essentially remain outsiders. Initially, this saddened both of us. We long for some close relationships with people who are nearby because it's beneficial for all concerned.

However, we're not willing to change our principles and goals for the sake of companionship so over time we've seen less of anyone. Thankfully, we're used to being alone. Were it not for my father and my oldest son and an occasional stop in town at my sister's, I doubt we'd see anyone.

People like us are in a minority here and as the neighbors have gotten to know us - and thus assessed us - they can't conceive of finding common ground or spending time together. We were told this week we're so "different." What's left unsaid is that we don't drink alcohol and party every weekend so "there's not much we have in common."

We were discussing this last night and decided that we had built up an expectation of "the life we would have" here and now we're feeling let down.

We're surrounded by a lot of people (some seasonal residents) who, despite being broke, go through amazing things in order to maintain the status quo. Staying home to conserve gas is unthinkable. Driving to one or more of the small towns around here to basically hustle work or offering to haul scrap or pick up returnable cans/bottles in order to keep drinking and "put a few dollars in the gas tank" makes more sense than conserving what resources they do have.

Their perceptions of us include thinking we have money because we're doing so much work on this place. When I said much of what we've done here we already had the materials for, they laughed. It was a reminder that perceptions and reality are seldom related.

I mentioned this to a woman who lives here seasonally and she said we were experiencing "the good old boys' adjustment anxiety." By this she means, they don't like change. The previous owner was one of the good old boys and we're not. We've cleaned up the place, posted the property lines and begun to put up fencing. According to her, these actions along with our different lifestyle, leave them feeling like we're the snobs and they're the "little people."

We've decided why bother even concerning ourselves with what they think? We are who we are.

This is, however, something to consider if you're in search of your dream homestead and need lots of companionship.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

That just goes to show you have sense and they are pretty senseless. They may come around in time...you all are leaders. Keep up the good work. They are jealous , it sounds like. They are floundering and you all are moving ahead..while they are getting more behiind. I like being alone....I am not lonely. You have your dad and son and other family that you are now physically closer to than before . Has to be good. You may be surprised one day someone will come to you for advice on how to do something, how you do it , how you did it , living like you do. Love reading your adventures. Keep it up. thanks.

Did it MY way said...

You have to be yourself no matter the cost. Perhaps in time things will change. My standards are never lowered to be "acceptable".

Don't let the bastards get you down.I wish I was your neighbor, sounds like we have alot in common.

See Ya

Bustednuckles said...

It's a damn shame really but I sure as hell wouldn't give an inch.
Just be who ya are and eventually the idiots will accept ya for who ya are.
Everybody came from some place.

I'm glad ya nailed that stalker idiot, proud as hell of ya fer that one.

Keep on keeping on dear.

Busted.

BTW, I write like I think, I am actually quite intelligent, just mentally lazy.eednes

Yukon Mike said...

I wouldn't spend much time thinking about your new neighbors now. In a couple years they will understand and appreciate your lifestyle and you theirs. Life will be good.
Plus you have a wood stove to get installed and fired up because it will be cold up there soon.