R.I.P. Lady

Sweetie put Lady down about 1 p.m. today.

It's been planned for awhile but that didn't make it any easier. He's had her 11 years and I've shared in her love and care for nearly five years.

The house seems empty tonight. We stare at the spot on the living room floor where she laid. Gone from the floor at the foot of our bed is her quilt covered in towels and blue pads. I've washed her dishes, quilt & towels & placed them in a yard sale bag. The nearly full bag of dog food will be given to a friend tomorrow.

Our three cats wander from living room to bedroom sniffing where she used to lay.

Today I tossed a package of chicken gizzards in the grocery cart, took a couple steps, then realized I don't need them. I stood there and cried while people stared.

Her grave's been dug for weeks and we've delayed the inevitable. With a winter storm looming & Lady totally incontinent the last 28 hours, we had to let her go.

Sweetie took a load of aluminum scrap to the junk yard and Lady rode with him. I had the feeling he'd park next to her grave when he returned. He did as I expected then came inside for an inhaler.

I walked to the car, opened the door and laid next to her for one last hug. I couldn't bear anymore so I went inside. The car blocked my view but not the sound. Every few shovels of dirt Sweetie straightened up, wept and used his inhaler. When finished he came in & we held one another and cried until the tears dried.

My daily routine was consumed by either caring for Lady or thinking about her. Now that she's gone I feel adrift and tired. The emotional and physical toll needs time to heal.

It's said that a dog is man's best friend. Lady was that and so much more.