It's been there for months now. The realization that we're not quite where we want to be. If blame were placed, it would be on me because I was insistent on moving here from the Upper Peninsula in stead of straight to Florida.
As things have worked out, it's been a midway point on our journey with plenty of advantages. For one, it's helped both of us distill our ideal lifestyle. I've made new friends and reconnected with an old one. And finally, we've recognized that even though we both have medical issues, we still have the ability to move once again.
Now, whether or not we will remains to be seen. But, I'm a firm believer in making my intentions known to the Universe & honing in on subtle messages via people, dreams, conversations, research and memories - to name a few.
If you've read this blog for any length of time you know Sweetie was a shrimper in Florida & has always wanted to return to the state, not the profession. I'm the one who's attitude needed to change. My ONE experience in Florida was miserable & my knowledge of the state minuscule.
In the past year I've read every thing Florida til my eyes turn blurry. The friend I reconnected with lived in Florida after spending her life in Michigan. She's been a gold mine of info and knows me fairly well
And, like all dreams/aspirations they have congealed over time. Looking back I can see where step by step I was approaching this life change while not realizing it. Some examples are: the move to the Upper Peninsula; leaving the UP; buying the 22' Carver boat; learning to fish again (though I'm still not a fan, I can do it); and being honest with ME about who I am and what I like/dislike/believe.
Not only have I become reclusive, I am also more intolerant and disgusted with most of what passes for civilization. The mantra that keeps flashing in my head is: "Simplify, simplify, simplify."
Simplicity no longer means owning acreage, barns, animals, machinery and 3-5 years worth of firewood. Neither of us have the strength or will to care for any of it.
On my crankier days I'd rather lay in bed and die than get up and vacuum, wash clothes, participate in community activities, drive anywhere, sort food storage, weed the garden, can the tomatoes, sit in the doctor's office, have another damn test that will tell me what I already know, or listen to anyone complain about who's doing what or how beautiful the Kardashian wedding was. It's all too much anymore.
So yesterday, during a quiet afternoon, with Sweetie in his recliner & me in my wing chair, I asked him, "what would you do if you could do anything with the rest of your life?"
"Live on a boat in Florida."
It was that simple.
We have no idea how or when but we know why. And we know we're in it together.
While drinking tea, I filled four 8x11 pages both sides in a tablet with info, ideas, questions and dreams.
Today I've been online since 9 a.m. It is now 6:16 p.m. and my research has helped us distill yesterday's musing, writing and decision.
A little while ago I sat here & laughed til my sides ached. Sweetie kept smiling & finally asked if I would include him in on the joke.
"This is the best solution EVER for you not accumulating anymore junk for the pole barn & me not bitching about it!"
With a grin he said, "Think of all the times we wouldn't have moved my junk if you had agreed to Florida four years ago."
Grinning back, I said, "Four years ago you wanted to buy a house in Florida."
True this is the early beginning of our next move but our hearts are light, our spirits bright and any stress or worry has evaporated - for now.
What a wonderful place to be!