My feet were heavy walking into the funeral home. My eyes still blurred by tears. My heart aching. It was the gathering I expected. Small, quiet, lots of smokers gathered outside prior to the service. At one point the preacher invited those gathered to share memories of Nancy.
God, the laughter, the tears, the agreements, the surprises. People she'd known her entire life learned something about her today. Others, like her three very aloof brothers, realized the sister they had shunned for years had earned the respect and love of countless people. Her humble life, lived without great prestige or financial gain, was rich in wisdom, benevolence and acceptance.
Her hobby was home remodeling and we all had a laugh as people talked about stopping by to see her and wondering where the entrance was now! Or the kitchen. Or the dining area. Or the half bath on the main level. On our way home I wondered aloud if the back porch was still there and her smoking chair with its paisley upholstery; all done by Nancy. Sweetie said we'd have to check that out when we stop by to visit her husband.
And speaking of him - he apologized for not calling me. It brought us both to tears as I told him I was feeling guilty for not calling more often or stopping in to see them. He said, "Oh no! She was feeling guilty that we hadn't been out to see the two of you in your new home. It's one of the last things she mentioned before her stroke."
In a strange way this was a consolation to both of us.
And thank you all for your words of comfort. I have very few friends and seldom see anyone. We live simply and quietly and leave here only for a specific purpose: groceries, gas, doctor appointments. We're not joiners or groupies of any kind and couldn't afford to drive around much anyway. And though we think of people and sometimes talk to them on the phone or email, the pool of friendships/relatives is very small. This year between the two of us we've lost four people - three since we moved here in June. Our world is getting smaller and I find myself wondering...will anyone notice if we're not here?
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9 comments:
Dear Treesong,
My husband and I will miss you and yours terribly. We read your posts everyday. You do count. You are kind and generous. Your heart is warm to people who don't play around mentally and physically harmfully. Yes the world is getting smaller in our age categories. Does it matter if we are missed, yes in the way it should be and that is did people see the love in our eys, words and actions? If they did then we had accomplished what we were put here to do.
Olease keep up the great work you are doing. You have blessed us and I am sure you have blessed others too. Thankyou for listening.
Marlene
I, for one, would notice. And grieve for your passing for not knowing ya'll better.
w/v = edoniz (eden is thataway)
YeOldFurt
Dear Treesong,
I would miss you also. I think you have lots of friends, whom you've never met. You touch many lives with your blog, and are in the thoughts and prayers of more people than you know.
Katie
I second what Katie said. I would miss you comments and your wisdom. I just lost a friend of 45 years. I still miss my mom and sister and others who have gone on. We have to remember we will see each other again, and this earth is just a bus stop to eternity. Sharon @ the meadowhouse
My friend, it would be a loss to the heart of all of us if you were not around to enrich our lives!
I do hope that the years you and yours are here to brighten our days are many in number!
Yes, like all the others, I would truly miss you! We both really appreciate your posts, your viewpoint and news from your part of the world. While we have never met face to face, we consider you a friend.
Sending warm thoughts your way and hope that your heart will soon feel lighter and your days will soon be brighter.
I would miss you as well. Enjoy your blog more than you know. I was born and raised in Livonia on 5 acres, and love the up. Had a cabin in Westbranch to. Had 41 years of winter before visiting Florida....now here for the last 28 years. Perhaps I'll visit Michigan next summer since I am now free to do so with my home on wheels.
See Ya
I would miss you and your comments. You 'keep it real'. Everyone needs a good dose of you. Common sense to the max. Lover of life, nature and all that is precious.
Hello Treesong, I've been reading blog for a bit and I wanted to send you my condolences. I wanted to add my voice to the rest and remind you that you do matter, even to a stranger. Best wishes and good thoughts to you and your Sweetie always.
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