Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Preserving Our Sanity

Have you ever noticed how easily we're led off track; wound up by other people's actions or become involved when you should run in the opposite direction?

We've had our share of turds hitting the fan the last couple weeks: the roof and two new windows are leaking; the stove door fell off; the land contract holder didn't pay the insurance; the garage door hit me in the shoulder; crank calls at 3 a.m. and I slipped down three steps.

Things got worse when the "people problems" began. Sweetie's son made his usual choices and complains about the results. The library board had four openings and a small town mudslinging campaign added the spouses of two former board members and a child molester to the board. That ought to make for local fireworks! A neighbor drove home intoxicated and took out one tree and our mailbox. We fixed the box and last night he spun donuts, lost control and came to a stop in our lilac bush.

I should have realized some people never learn much while others, like us, have short memories. By yesterday we were so exhausted we slept most to the day, ate little and refused to answer the phone.

After showering at 6 p.m. and sat in our chairs staring into space. When the cat jumped on my lap I snapped to attention and called my father. He sounded great; said he had no need for a home health aide and insisted he's seldom left alone where he lives. Okay, I thought. No point in arguing. Just say goodbye and keep my peace.

Less than two hours later the phone rang. My sister-in-law said, "He's up to his old tricks again."

Now he's worried about managing his meds; claimed the house will be cold and said he is alone most of the time. This version is closer to the truth.

My sister-in-law said she'd stop by every other day to check his meds and arrange for a visiting aide. Before he could respond she said, "It's not too late for you to go to assisted living." (where he had previously applied until my ex changed the plans).

My father laughed uncontrollably; said she and I worry needlessly about him, and get others upset when there's "nothing to worry about."

The kicker was: "This has been fun watching you two go crazy! Gotchya!"

She hung up and I don't blame her.

Yes, he needed medical attention. Yes, we're concerned for his well being. But game playing and hurting people intentionally because he thinks it's funny is unacceptable. Once again, we'll forgive his bad behavior, but be on guard against future assaults on our peace and self worth.

Tonight he's home at my daughter's boyfriend's, snug in his bed, I assume. I don't even have the energy to be pissed, which is just as well. In a day or so I'll send him a card and that' that.

Meanwhile, every appliance we have can quit; more windows can leak and it can rain for 40 days and nights. None of it matters because we're of one mind, heart and soul and thankful to occupy our little corner of the world.

Sleep well people. You may very well need your energy!


Anonymous said...

About your dad... it sounds like his health is affecting how he is thinking.
I have seen my father-in-law turn into a totally different person because of all his health issues...I think their brains are affected and also the meds affect it.
You know he wasn't always this way.
He may not know what is best for him. Even though he sounds lucid. He doesn't seem to be thinking straight , like he used to, does he?
It isn't really him doing what he is doing...he has changed.
It sounds that way to me anyway.
Just some observations with things I have been through with folks I know.
It does seem that when you get the least sleep that things just pile up and seem too much to handle...like you said always sleep when you can. B.

Sixbears said...

Rest up and gather your strength.

Sometimes relatives make you grateful for friends and strangers. Even a stranger might give you a break. :)